Former NBA legend and "Space Jam" star Michael Jordan returns to the big screen as an undercover FBI agent living on the edge. Jordan works for the "Washington Wizards," a small cadre within the Bureau that breaks up petty and ultimately meaningless crimes. His intensity is legendary; he keeps a framed photo on his desk of a raid on a youth soccer team selling candy without a permit. Read More
"Undercover Sommelier"
Jason Statham stars as an FBI agent assigned to bring down a prominent organized crime ring. For years, the government has tried to infiltrate the tight-knit Russo crime family. From hiring actor Steve Schirripa to pose as a long-lost cousin, to planting bugs in unsolicited credit card offers, nothing has worked.
Statham decides to pose as a wine steward hired to work a private party at the Russo family compound. This is especially dangerous because he knows nothing about wine. The goal is to observe the mobsters and, hopefully, overhear some incriminating conversations. Read More
"Gym Rat"
You might recall my movie idea "Viet-KONG," in which Michael Chiklis, dressed in a gorilla costume, takes over Ho Chi Minh City during the Vietnam War. Michael is back in costume, this time as a large rodent who reeks havoc on an American Family Fitness.
During one scene, Michael runs in on a Body Pump class and begins doing squats while grunting loudly. The comedy reaches a crescendo when the rodent tries flirting with a cute girl on the stairclimber. Read More
Chaz Bono stars as a WWE superstar who held the women's "Diva" title for over a year. Chaz's finishing move - a "cannonball" jump from the top rope, would polish off any opponent.
Now that Chaz is a man, the other divas think he should wrestle with the boys. Chaz agrees and wrestles Doink the Clown. It's awkward - there is a titter in the crowd when Chaz takes his shirt off for the first time. Chaz has a hard time being thrown over the rope. And the ring announcer still introduces him as "The Diva's Champion." Read More
"Poetic Justice"
Vincent D’onofrio stars as a man who comforts crime victims in a unique way. He doesn’t solve crimes; rather, he helps with the healing process by writing poetry about the crime itself. This poetry (and subsequent performances) has helped hundreds of victims “move on” with their lives.
Vincent got this idea years ago when someone broke into his Datsun pickup truck and stole his cassette player. He wrote a sonnet about it, then a haiku. He performed them and felt a weight off his shoulders. Read More
"Insider Trading"
Bijou Phillips stars as a heartbroken woman who was just dumped by her latest boyfriend (Erik von Detten). As he broke up with her at a Ruby Tuesday salad bar, von Detten said, "You just don't get guys." Bijou is crushed.
One day, Bijou is visited by a ghost (Ricky Gervais) who says that he can show her the secrets of men. If she wants this wish granted, however, there are no guarantees she will ever be the same. After some initial hesitation, she accepts the ghost's offer. Read More
"Bundle of Joy"
Debra Messing and Garth Brooks star as a middle-aged couple who want nothing more than to have a child. After years of trying (and cashing out their retirement accounts on fertility treatments), Debra finally becomes pregnant. The couple is overjoyed.
Before the baby is born, the couple is showered with gifts to celebrate the good news. But after the baby is born - well, what do you know? - raising a baby is a lot of tiring, frustrating work. Read More
"Foul Territory"
John Ratzenberger stars as Martin, a successful real estate agent who never married or had a family. To stay active in the community, Martin volunteers as a Little League baseball umpire. He's the best umpire in the region.
Following the housing crash in 2008, Martin loses his job. A trip to Vegas proves disastrous as he also loses his savings.
Martin goes to the local Little League commissioner (Bob Barker) and demands a salary for his umpiring. "It's $12 per game or I walk!" he threatens. The league agrees to this salary. Read More
"Lifetime Presents: Secrets of a Town Sheriff"
A small-town sheriff (Tom Selleck) won't let anyone know that he uses Pert Plus Anti-Dandruff shampoo. Connie Britton stars as the newspaper reporter who won't let the story die. Read More
"Page Turner"
Andrew Dice Clay stars as an assistant who turns the sheet music for a concert pianist. Will demons from his past hinder his performance on opening night? Probably not. Read More
"Home Alone IX: Roommate Moves Out"
Kevin (Macaulay Culkin) turns to Craigslist for a new roommate after his old one joins the circus. Hilarity ensues when Marv (Daniel Stern), a burglar from the original, answers the ad. Read More
No comments:
Post a Comment