1). Blessings to "Style Weekly," a publication serving the Richmond area with both serious news and the latest social gossip. I oftentimes read "Style Weekly" on the train and was thrilled to see this classified ad:
- What sort of profits do you think are coming your way, and what percentage do you plan on giving me? Is this one of those "Shark Tank" situations where the owner of a failing business is magically forecasting $10 million in sales next year?
- In the second paragraph, why is "Producers" capitalized? Do you think Mel Brooks is getting involved in this project?
- Before I agree to sign on, will you share one of your seventeen stories? I promise I won't use it for personal use. This would still leave you with sixteen untold stories.
- Does one of your stories involve Spiro Agnew? He's also Vietnam-era. That would be great.
Really, Randy Horne? You think I am going to list my house with you because you attached a fun-sized Skittles to your advertisement? And your second bullet point says your marketing plan includes "Multiple High Definition Professional Photos." Multiple photos? Amazing! Most real estate agents only take one photo of the house, and it's from a blimp.
"You, sir, have earned my business!" said no one ever.
3). Blessings to this "crime scene" at the Richmond Amtrak station. What on earth is going on here? Did the trash can commit a crime? Is it the victim of a crime? Why is this area so aggressively taped off? If Amtrak wanted to simply block the drop-off lane, it could have done so without getting the trash can involved. I'm glad to see that the parking payment kiosk in the background looks undisturbed.
4). Blessings to Bus Weller, the author of the note below. It was posted at a used bookstore in Staunton, VA. To clarify, there was a photo of a pigeon on the back of the note.
This seems like an awful lot of work (and total headache) for a maximum cash payout of $40. Why does Bus want "up to 4 or 5" pigeons? Wouldn't that just be "up to 5" pigeons? Feel free to pepper in lower-case letters as well. NO NEED TO SHOUT! Also, I have to provide an animal carrier? Best case scenario is that I break even on the transaction. No sale - capture the pigeon yourself, Bus.
As always, blessings to everyone involved, and Happy New Year!
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Too bad that realtor doesn't work in Michigan - realtors here usually just have their kids draw pictures of the houses they're trying to sell!
ReplyDeleteBased on the quality of his classified ad, I can only imagine how exciting David Shurland's stories are. "Once I saw a cloud that looked like Abraham Lincoln."