Movie Idea: "Gym Rat"

You might recall my movie idea "Viet-KONG," in which Michael Chiklis, dressed in a gorilla costume, takes over Ho Chi Minh City during the Vietnam War. Michael is back in costume, this time as a large rodent who reeks havoc on an American Family Fitness.

 

During one scene, Michael runs in on a Body Pump class and begins doing squats while grunting loudly. The comedy reaches a crescendo when the rodent tries flirting with a cute girl on the stairclimber.

 

Everytime a gym members gets the manager (Chaz Bono), the rodent mysteriously disappears. And then BAM, he's in the steam room wearing nothing but a towel.

 

This goofball comedy features cameos from John Ratzenberger, the Octomom, former NFL star Browning Nagle, and Kendall Jenner. Come see the show the critics are calling "unnecessary" and "a sad day for Michael Chiklis!"

 

Rated PG-13 for mild language and a bedroom scene.

Movie Idea: "King of the Ring"

Chaz Bono stars as a WWE superstar who held the women's "Diva" title for over a year. Chaz's finishing move - a "cannonball" jump from the top rope, would polish off any opponent.

Now that Chaz is a man, the other divas think he should wrestle with the boys. Chaz agrees and wrestles Doink the Clown. It's awkward - there is a titter in the crowd when Chaz takes his shirt off for the first time. Chaz has a hard time being thrown over the rope. And the ring announcer still introduces him as "The Diva's Champion."

Movie Idea: "Poetic Justice"

Vincent D’onofrio stars as a man who comforts crime victims in a unique way. He doesn’t solve crimes; rather, he helps with the healing process by writing poetry about the crime itself. This poetry (and subsequent performances) has helped hundreds of victims “move on” with their lives.
 
Vincent got this idea years ago when someone broke into his Datsun pickup truck and stole his cassette player. He wrote a sonnet about it, then a haiku. He performed them and felt a weight off his shoulders. 

Movie Idea: "Insider Trading"

Bijou Phillips stars as a heartbroken woman who was just dumped by her latest boyfriend (Erik von Detten). As he broke up with her at a Ruby Tuesday salad bar, von Detten said, "You just don't get guys." Bijou is crushed.
 
One day, Bijou is visited by a ghost (Ricky Gervais) who says that he can show her the secrets of men. If she wants this wish granted, however, there are no guarantees she will ever be the same. After some initial hesitation, she accepts the ghost's offer.

Movie Idea: "Bundle of Joy"

Debra Messing and Garth Brooks star as a middle-aged couple who want nothing more than to have a child. After years of trying (and cashing out their retirement accounts on fertility treatments), Debra finally becomes pregnant. The couple is overjoyed.
 
Before the baby is born, the couple is showered with gifts to celebrate the good news. But after the baby is born - well, what do you know? - raising a baby is a lot of tiring, frustrating work.