Let's get to the highlights!
- The show starts off with a montage of people jumping, giving "I can't believe I just saw that!" reaction shots, and a slot with the label "$1 million" turning green. In a voiceover, host Chris Hardwick tells us these are "real couples, playing together."
- Hardwick hosted "Singled Out" back in the 1990s and is currently the host of "@Midnight with Chris Hardwick" on Comedy Central. Most people, however, will recognize him from the 2001-2003 reality show "Shipmates," in which single people went on dates aboard a Carnival cruise ship.
"Shipmates" host Chris Hardwick
- For some bizarre reason, NBA superstar LeBron James is an Executive Producer on this show. He appears in a prerecorded segment to say, "There's no better feeling than winning. The excitement, the drama that comes with it, for us to be able to put something like this together is a true blessing for sure." Thank you, 2008 NBA All-Star Game MVP LeBron James!
LeBron James, 2014 Eastern Conference Champion
- In the opening montage, Hardwick mentions that the wall is "four stories high" and was created to "change lives." Good! I would refuse to play if it were any lower. Hardwick explains that if you get a question right, the balls on the big board turn green and add to your dollar total. If you get a question wrong, the balls turn red and subtract from your dollar total. They are working really hard to not say the word "Plinko." I will explain the rules more as the show goes on.
- The montage ends with a woman yelling "No! No! No!" as if someone is stealing her car. "The wall gives, and the wall takes away," Hardwick adds in an ominous tone.
- Tonight's contestants are John and Angel, a married couple from Akron, Ohio (I wonder how LeBron James got a couple from Akron)? The show will hammer home, ad nauseam, that this is a really great couple. The best. You're supposed to love them. Did you know that Angel was named "Teacher of the Year?" The crowd claps at this information.
- Chris Hardwick explains that a mother asked Angel to teach her son to read, and Angel helped the boy learn to read. Obviously, it's great that Angel taught this child to read, but they kind of over-sold this story. My wife's best friend is a teacher and basically organized a European trip for 20 kids last summer, so why isn't she getting a shout-out from NBC?
This equation proves "The Wall" is a Plinko ripoff.
- The first round is called "Free Fall." The contestants are asked a question with two possible answers, just as several balls start dropping down the Plinko board (I'm going to refer to the actual wall as "the Plinko board"). The contestants have to push a button to lock in their answer before the first ball falls a certain distance. The balls will land in slots at the bottom with various dollar values. If you get the trivia question right, the balls turn green and those dollar values are added to your total. If you get it wrong, the balls turn red and those dollar values are subtracted from your total.
- Angel says John "knows a lot about sports," so she takes a high risk and places the ball in Position 7.
Question: Which annual auto race has a decades-old tradition where the winner drinks milk after their victory?
- John seems stumped, which is surprising because I think most sports fans know about this Indy 500 celebration. He says he's never seen the Monaco Grand Prix, so it's "probably not that." Wait! If you have seen the other two races, and you don't remember the milk-drinking tradition, wouldn't that make it more likely that the correct answer is the Monaco Grand Prix?? He guesses the Indy 500, and despite his poor logic, is correct.
- Angel's ball turns green, so it will add to their total. Unfortunately, it lands in a $1 slot, so it didn't really matter in the end if John got that one right.
Choices for Question 2:
a). Apollo 9
b). Apollo 11
c). Apollo 12
Chris Hardwick says there is a special feature where you can "double up" on this question and add a second ball to the Plinko board. Angel is confident and decides to double up.
Question: In which Apollo mission did Neil Armstrong take "one small step for man" and walk on the moon?
- I have to tip my hat to 2003 McDonald's High School All-American LeBron James on these choices. They didn't even include Apollo 13 as an option! I thought they would have at least thrown that in there as a choice, seeing as it was such a famous mission (and movie).
"The Wall" is simply Plinko with a few twists.
- First question: What piece of demolition equipment shares its name with a hit recording by Miley Cyrus? a). Wrecking ball, b). Jackhammer. John and Angel lock in choice A, and they are right. One ball landed in the $25,000 slot, one landed in the $20,000 slot, and one landed in $1. The balls turn green, and John and "Teacher of the Year" Angel just won $45,001.
- It's clear that 2004 Olympic bronze medalist LeBron James wants only softball questions in "Free Fall." For example, John and Angel were asked, "Which is faster - the speed of light, or the speed of sound?" and "Which state is the 'Peach State?' - Georgia or Alabama?" This barely even qualifies as "trivia."
- During the final question of Free Fall, John and Angel are sitting at $100,213. The final question is about the movie "Titanic," and although John knew the correct answer, he didn't lock in his answer in time. Drama! Angel, unaware of this, ran to the board and starting jumping up and down in celebration as one of the balls landed in the $25,000 slot. Chris Hardwick sadly had to report that John, who was never a "Teacher of the Year," failed to lock in the answer. This counts as an incorrect guess. Still, the couple finishes Round 1 with $65,213.
John and Angel's total sunk $45,000 because of "Titanic."
- For Round 2, John has to sit backstage and can't see or hear what's going on out front. The team chose John for isolation because, per Angel, he is "one of the strongest men I know, he's confident, and he's great under pressure." Except for locking in his answer about "Titanic." BURN. Chris Hardwick, who knows the couple now for about five minutes, says they "seem like a very solid team."
- Angel first gets to drop two green balls, which will add to their total. She can place them anywhere from Position 1 to Position 7 on top of the Plinko board. The higher dollar slots at the bottom of the Plinko board are on the right-hand side, so dropping further to the right (like Position 6 or 7) increases the odds of hitting a big number. At the end of the round, however, two red balls (which subtract from their total) will be dropped from the same positions Angel chooses now. So the more risk you take with the green balls now, the more risk you take with the red balls later.
- Angel says she'll put the first ball in Position 6. Why? Her daughter is six and "is very excited about life." Alright then! Her second ball is going in Position 7, but there is no backstory to this choice. The balls land in the $10 and $1 slots, so she wins 11 bucks. "It's still money," Chris Hardwick embarrassingly adds.
John and Angel can each buy a Dairy Queen lunch.
- Before Angel has to drop the two red balls, John will try to add to their total by answering trivia questions. Angel will first see several possible answers (which gives her a clue as to what the question might be). Then she will place a ball in one of the seven positions on top of the Plinko board. John and everyone else then sees the question, and he has to answer. If he's right, the selected ball will turn green and drop. Otherwise, it turns red and drops.
Choices for Question 1:
a). Indianapolis 500
b). Daytona 500
c). Monaco Grand Prix
Choices for Question 1:
a). Indianapolis 500
b). Daytona 500
c). Monaco Grand Prix
- Angel says John "knows a lot about sports," so she takes a high risk and places the ball in Position 7.
Question: Which annual auto race has a decades-old tradition where the winner drinks milk after their victory?
- John seems stumped, which is surprising because I think most sports fans know about this Indy 500 celebration. He says he's never seen the Monaco Grand Prix, so it's "probably not that." Wait! If you have seen the other two races, and you don't remember the milk-drinking tradition, wouldn't that make it more likely that the correct answer is the Monaco Grand Prix?? He guesses the Indy 500, and despite his poor logic, is correct.
- Angel's ball turns green, so it will add to their total. Unfortunately, it lands in a $1 slot, so it didn't really matter in the end if John got that one right.
Choices for Question 2:
a). Apollo 9
b). Apollo 11
c). Apollo 12
Chris Hardwick says there is a special feature where you can "double up" on this question and add a second ball to the Plinko board. Angel is confident and decides to double up.
Question: In which Apollo mission did Neil Armstrong take "one small step for man" and walk on the moon?
- I have to tip my hat to 2003 McDonald's High School All-American LeBron James on these choices. They didn't even include Apollo 13 as an option! I thought they would have at least thrown that in there as a choice, seeing as it was such a famous mission (and movie).
NBC made sure to include only one famous Apollo mission.
- What happened next was the low point of the evening. John says he had no idea - he acts as if he's never even heard of the space program. "Apollo 11 sounds good, like 7-11," he says out loud. Wait - you're going to guess Apollo 11 because it has a nice ring to it? Like a convenience store? Yes, he says, let's go with Apollo 11. Lucky! The balls turn green and add to their total. John and Angel are up to $115,226 thanks for John's history "knowledge."
No one from this 7-11 has gone to space.
Choices for Question 3:
a). "Pretty in Pink"
b). "Sixteen Candles"
c). "The Breakfast Club"
Question: Jon Cryer appeared as Duckie, alongside Molly Ringwald, in which teen movie?
- John knows this and says "Pretty in Pink." Correct! After some balls drop into high values on the Plinko board, the team has over $240,000.
- It's now time to drop the two red balls. Remember, Angel has to drop these from the same two positions where she dropped the green balls at the beginning of this round. These balls, of course, subtract from their total.
- And just like that, one lands in the $250,000 slot, and the team is back to $0. D'oh! Come on, NBC, you can't do this to the Teacher of the Year! However, this is the premiere episode, so I'm sure they will end up with lots of money in the end.
- After a commercial break, they are going to play the last round. It's the same rules as before, but Angel starts out with four free green balls. She wants to put the first one in Position 5 because she and John "dated for five years before getting married." Come on, John, put a ring on it!
Unlike John, "The Bachelor" doesn't wait around to propose.
- Angel now randomly tells a story that John got "an award at work," then later got laid off. So for that, she will place the next ball in Position 7. HUH? What does that have to do with John getting laid off? Has he been out of work for seven years? Maybe he was stealing from the company. That ball lands $10, so the sympathetic backstory didn't sway the Plinko board.
- Angel is now crying on stage. Look, John and Angel are probably nice people, but NBC is really laying it on thick. I am starting to turn on them. "This one ball is going to be the ball that changes our lives," she dramatically says. And it lands on half a million - boom! Now John can go back to his old boss and tell him off.
- They end this segment with $700,011. HA! It looks like 7-11. What are the odds? #SpaceMission #Slurpees
Choices for Question 4:
a). Australia
b). Mexico
c). South Africa
d). Brazil
Question: The Great Barrier Reef stretches for about 1,250 miles off the coast of which country?
Again, I don't think I'm out of line to say this isn't really that tough. But John says he didn't know this until recently when he saw "Finding Nemo." Turns out the characters were at the Great Barrier Reef, and they were in Australia. Thanks, Disney!
Disney: The New Geography Teacher
- They are correct, but the ball drops in a $1 slot on the Plinko board.
Choices for Question 5:
a). "Moby Dick"
b). "To Kill a Mockingbird"
c). "The Great Gatsby"
d). "The Catcher in the Rye"
Question: Starbucks takes its name from a character in what novel?
- John says he doesn't know because these were classic books he read "a long time ago...if I read them at all." So he'll "shoot from half court" and guess "To Kill a Mockingbird."
- Right when John says he's going to "shoot from half court," Angel does a basketball shot motion and says "Got it!" Sorry, no, you didn't get it. It's "Moby Dick." AIR BALL.
Choices for Question 6:
a). 2 points
b). 5 points
c). 9 points
d). 10 points
- Angel is really confident in this one because "John is amazing with numbers." Good to know!
Question: In Scrabble, the letter 'K' has what face value?
- John says he doesn't know, but I actually have to congratulate him on thinking it out. He said the most obscure letters are probably worth 10 and vowels and common letters are much lower. So 'K' is probably in the middle. He guesses "5 points" and is correct.
- The ball turns green and lands in the $1 million slot. Amazing! LeBron James, who finished second in the NBA in field goal attempts in 2008, must be grinning from ear to ear. Big money on the Plinko board!
- Now they have to drop the red balls to end the round. Although one ball drops in the $300,000 slot, the other three avoid the big values. They end the game with $1,300,010.
- There is one final decision. John has been isolated backstage and has no idea how much they won. Using a tube like you do at the bank drive-through, Chris sends a contract to John offering him $65,213 (which they won in Free Fall), plus $20,000 for every question he got right.
- If he takes the contract, they walk away with $165,213 (the Free Fall money, plus five correct answers). If not, they will get the $1.3 million Angel won at Plinko. Of course, John doesn't know at this point how much money Angel won.
- John comes back on stage and is dramatically standing about 20 feet behind Angel, like two people in a soap opera. They are filming it so that you can see right over Angel's shoulder, as John lurks in the background.
These soap opera stars also had a dramatic pose.
- John explains he only thought he got two answers right. So he was unsure what to do. "Could we help people with $100,000? Yes." Oh, so it's for charity now? Sure! It sounds like he took the contract, but then he says he tore it up. Angel then says they just won $1.3 million, and they hug on stage.
- "These are good people. Thank you for taking the journey with us tonight," Chris Hardwick adds.
Overall, "The Wall" was a disappointment. NBC clearly wants to pat itself on the back by giving away money to "deserving" contestants. As I said before, I'm sure John and Angel are nice people, but the show piled it on so thick that they became less likable.
I don't think they should ask obscure trivia, but Executive Producer and member of the 2003-2004 NBA All-Rookie Team LeBron James made sure there were a lot of softballs. The show was also a clear ripoff of Plinko, so despite a few twists, the game lacked originality. "The Wall" might be four stories tall, but "Shipmates" will always be the pinnacle of Chris Hardwick's career!
Photo Credits:
Shipmates: http://www.gameshowgarbage.com/ind141_shipmates.html
LeBron James: http://www.indystar.com/story/sports/2014/05/14/miami-heat-defeat-nets-earn-spot-eastern-conference-finals/9109151/
Teacher: http://today.uconn.edu/2014/06/uconn-joins-national-program-to-recruit-minority-male-teachers/
Plinko: http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2013/09/how-to-game-plinko/280088/
Titanic: http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/titanic-sinks
Dairy Queen Lunch: http://www.dairyqueen.com/us-en/locator/Detail/?localechange=1&&store-id=3006
Apollo 13: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112384/
7-11 Store: http://eastpdxnews.com/general-news-features/citizen%E2%80%99s-9-1-1-call-stops-convenience-store-robber%E2%80%99s-crime-spree/
Bachelor: http://abc.go.com/shows/the-bachelor/episode-guide/season-20/01-season-20-premiere-week-1
Finding Nemo: https://www.pinterest.com/katievernice/finding-nemo/
Soap Opera: http://www.mosselbayadvertiser.com/news/Arts--Entertainment/Entertainment/73378/The-Young-and-the-Restless-celebrates-41-years
Reading your review of this show is much more entertaining than watching it, I bet! And thanks for the shout-out! :)
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